Abandonment issues

Everyone eventually feels the sting of being abandoned by someone they love for the first time. Mine came at the hand of my own dad during his futile pursuit for "happiness". Suffice it to say he got more than he bargained for.
One thing is certain, until I was directly confronted with this, I never once imagined the level of selfishness needed for someone to do such a thing let alone their affects. You could imagine my surprise when someone nonchalantly summed up the feeling of resentment whom I believe hasn't gone through what I have. I thought either the person has gone through some sort of abandonment or is very in tune with the emotions of others.
The first thought is what interests me. Could a person experience such hatred for selfishness simply through relationships? The answer should jump out at you as a yes: any emotional arousal is still a valid experience no matter how trivial their affects would seem to an outsider. This wasn't an obvious conclusion for me. My personal bias kept me from recognizing it as what the sentence was; a brief intimate moment into their life. I have to remember to keep this in mind more often. There's nothing worse than opening up to someone and having them take your emotions lightly.

The Current Flow

Lately, I haven't been writing or keeping track of certain aspects of my life as much as I had planned to. I'm currently maintaining two personal blogs that haven't been kept up to date. I, also, haven't joined a gym like I had wanted to due to budgeting constraints.

I have, at least, made good use of my new Sony Reader. I've picked up Bram Stokers Dracula. Cool read, although its not without it's dry spells. And I've confirmed what I've known all along; I'm a lousy reader. Jokes aside, I have actually kept up with the reader as I propositioned myself and it's currently stocked with enough manga to keep me busy for months. So, of all the things I've wanted to keep up with, it's mostly been with the Reader.

Later this month, I'll be going to Mexico with the love of my life, and our D90. I hope to actually have some pictures to post on my Picasa page. I'll keep Flickr professional so it'll remain empty unless we do some sightseeing.

The Larrea Curse

I'm beginning to wonder why I react the way I do. Given every opportunity to stray from the well beaten path, I reluctantly fall back into place. Maybe a daily dose of awareness mixed with a teaspoon of artificial sweetener will do the trick. Here's to change!

Life and Death

A loved one's mother isn't doing so well. I'm usually voluble about how a persons lifestyle directs their health all the while placing blame the sufferee. I think that's all well and good in theory but in practice, partisanship needs to be left aside and communal love needs to be expressed; shame and self loathing never shows a productive side. That's why I'm going to stop distancing myself from this situation and instead embrace it and treat it as a give and take experience.

I wish my girlfriend's mother a quick recovery. The surgery that she may undergo isn't pretty. It'll be painful and keep her away from her home and family for possibly months. It's one of those ordeals you would not wish on your worst enemy.

May the powers that Be grant me the will power to stay focused and caring but more importantly, grant Martha the will of perseverance.